I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
