After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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