are you still at the devil's house?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
