so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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