He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
