Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
