i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
