You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
