Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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