Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
