Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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