after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
