You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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