can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Randomize
