JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
