I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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