Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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