its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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