Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
