I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
