We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
