So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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