Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
