his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
