just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
