I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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