I got chris browned last night
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
