Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
