..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
