I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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