ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Randomize
