Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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