I never want to see another naked old woman again.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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