Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
