theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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