Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize