i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
