I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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