apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I wanna passion pit in your ass
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
