Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
