Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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