they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
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Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
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