So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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