Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
