That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
