You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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