i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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