This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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