at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
