quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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