dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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