Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
