You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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