I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
