Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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