found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
where are my eyebrows?
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