I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize