Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
