where am i from again
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The best walk of shames are on the highway
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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