You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
How external is "for external use only"?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
