small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
