thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize