Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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