We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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